Personal Power
Kyetu Catalyst. A spark to ignite change!
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Welcome to another episode of The Kyetu Catalyst, the podcast that ignites change and inspires you to live your best life. I'm your host and founder of the Kyetu brand, Naomi. Today we're diving into a topic that can transform your emotional well-being and help you maintain your personal power.
I very recently heard someone say QTIP as if it were a well-known expression, and to the person they were talking to, they knew exactly what they were talking about. So, of course, I was curious and looked this up. QTIP actually stands for Quit Taking It Personally, and I thought, what a great way to intercept someone who is struggling, especially with something that is only going to bring them overthinking and no value into their day, their growth, or their well-being. If anything, it would create a negative overtone that adds absolutely no value and could hurt them.
This got me thinking about how much information there is out there, how many different memes and authors have really tried to express this sentiment differently, and how, somehow, it still doesn't stick. It's like the human condition really struggles with this.
There's a fabulous book by Don Miguel Ruiz called "The Four Agreements," and one of his four agreements is "Don't Take Anything Personally." Essentially, it's saying the same thing: it's not about you. The goal is to help individuals keep emotional balance, reduce stress, and foster healthy relationships by not internalizing other people's words or actions. Internalizing these is removing your power. Your power lies in knowing the value and strength of your own words, not weighing in others'.
This brings me to another acronym I've heard, DRAMA, which stands for "Don't React And Make it About you." I love this. Sometimes people just need to vent. Sometimes they need to express themselves, and it comes out very dramatically. But you can't take their drama personally; you can't internalize it. Just like I mentioned earlier, letting other people's words remove your power is detrimental.
Another popular saying is "Haters gonna hate." Taylor Swift made this phrase popular. There’s a lot of negativity and criticism out there, but what are you going to do? Are you going to listen to it? No, absolutely not.
During COVID, a big one that emerged was "You do you." It started rising a bit before but became more prominent during the pandemic. It emphasizes focusing on your own behaviors and well-being, not worrying about what everyone else is doing.
Now, I know it’s easy to talk about not taking things personally, but let’s validate this discussion with some wisdom from a few incredible authors. Have you ever heard of Byron Katie? She wrote a book called "Loving What Is." In it, she introduces this method called "The Work," which helps people identify and question thoughts that cause stress. It’s all about realizing that other people's actions aren’t about you.
Then there's Tara Brach. She wrote "Radical Acceptance," which is all about accepting situations and people as they are without taking their actions personally. This approach is such a game-changer for maintaining emotional balance and reducing stress.
And, of course, Eckhart Tolle’s "The Power of Now" is a must-read. Tolle emphasizes living in the present moment and not being affected by others' opinions or actions. It’s very much in line with the idea of not taking things personally.
Before you react to something that feels personal, just take a moment to pause and reflect. Ask yourself if the situation really needs an emotional response or if it’s more about the other person’s perspective.
But how do you do this, for real?
Can you try and understand where the other person is coming from? Often, people are just projecting their own issues and insecurities onto you.
And setting boundaries is so important. Like, clearly define what you will and will not tolerate. This can really help you maintain your emotional health.
Regularly reminding yourself of your own value is key too. Your worth isn’t determined by others’ opinions or actions, right?
And then there’s practicing a bit of detachment. This doesn’t mean you don’t care, but it means you don’t let others' behavior affect your inner peace. It’s about keeping your cool and staying grounded.
Ready for a journal exercise? Grab your journal and take a few minutes to write about a recent situation where you took something personally. How did it made you feel? What you could have done differently to maintain your emotional balance? Take a moment to write down steps you can take in the future to avoid taking things personally.
Not taking things personally is about reclaiming your power. It's about understanding that your worth is intrinsic and not based on others' actions or words. By practicing QTIP, DRAMA, and embracing the sentiment behind "Haters gonna hate" and "You do you," you can cultivate a life of emotional freedom and resilience.
Thanks for joining us on today’s episode of The Kyetu Catalyst. Please share our podcast with family, friends, and in your social networks. You just might be someone else’s spark to ignite change!
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