The Pursuit of Happiness - Or Integrity
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“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
We have pondered Jefferson’s statement that happiness is an unalienable right to pursue. In addition to our Declaration, other literature, mentors, books, and advice also tell us that happiness is a goal, a destination, or “what” you should be striving for. We are told happiness is something to chase after.
At Kyetu, we believe that the pursuit of happiness, really, should be the pursuit of integrity. And that, rather, happiness is the journey, the feeling, or the experience of “how” you reach your goal. In essence, by striving to pursue a goal of integrity you will feel happiness.
Let's take a moment to examine the word "pursuit." The word "pursuit" has its origins in the Latin word "prosequi," which means "to follow" or "to pursue." In Old French, it evolved into "porsivre," and later, in Middle English, it became "poursuit." The concept of pursuing or chasing something is inherent in the etymology of the word "pursuit." If you're constantly chasing happiness, it implies that you haven't yet attained it. Instead of following or chasing happiness, wouldn't it be better to “be in” happiness? Happiness should be experienced rather than merely pursued. In pursuing integrity, wholeness or congruence, you will experience happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment.
“Happiness is not a goal, but a by-product of the journey.”
To truly experience happiness, we believe we must live in alignment with our identity, or live in congruence. Step away from the “what” (the goals) and the “how” (the process or the journey) for a moment, and focus on the “who” — our true selves. Often, we find ourselves caught in cycles of pursuing, chasing, or following happiness because we haven't re-evaluated our identity. This isn't something you need to do daily, but rather on a quarterly, bi-annual, or annual basis. Take a moment to check in with yourself and assess how you're feeling.
It's easy to get lost in activities due to habits, but it's important to strategically pause and define who you are. Make sure your inner identity aligns with the personas you express outwardly. You'll likely discover that many of the faces you show and the personas you express don't align with your true self. Ideally, your inner and outer selves would be perfectly aligned. However, societal and cultural expectations can make this challenging, as everyone seeks acceptance and the feeling of belonging to a group.
Creating your true identity and living authentically doesn't mean isolating yourself or rejecting those who don't accept your inner self. It's about finding a balance between your inner and outer selves to increase your happiness. The tighter the fit between your inner self and how you express yourself externally, the more congruent you are, and the happier you'll be. When there's a misalignment between your inner and outer personas (or incongruence), stress and discord arise, leading to a constant need to offset gaps.
“The real joy of life is in its journey, not in its destination.”
Once you’ve defined your true inner identity, accept it wholeheartedly, and express your true self outwardly, even if it means some people may not like it. That's okay because you'll eventually find your real community — a group of people who truly understand and accept you. Remember, there are countless pockets, cliques, cultures, and communities waiting for you to find your place within them.
Family dynamics can make this process more challenging, and we’re not suggesting that you alienate your family. Transitioning your persona may be necessary to maintain cohesion and express your identity in a manner that allows you to feel safe. By creating boundaries and defining your "who," you'll gain a clear sense of your identity. Express that outwardly with integrity, which means being whole and aligning your inner self with your outer expressions. Imagine yourself as a complete sphere, with your inner self as the nucleus and your external expressions as the electrons that circulate around it, interacting with the environment.
Your energy, your true self, pushes outward into the universe, engaging in a dance or cycle with the outside world. As outside influence returns to you, you have the power to choose how to react to it. This is where many of us get stuck and experience unhappiness. We often passively accept what we're given and let external forces push us around - squeezing inwards. However, we have our own agency and the ability to push back and define our own boundaries. Your soul is in control.
To break free from this cycle, it's crucial to understand who you are at your core (hence our brand tagline: “who do you think you are?”). Define your own values, beliefs, tone, voice, personality, and essence. Determine your own unalienable rights that you, yourself, define. By living in alignment with your true self and embracing integrity, you'll find peace. Instead of tirelessly pursuing or chasing happiness, you'll be "being" happy because happiness becomes a state of being.
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”
So, take the time to reflect on your true identity, both internally and the one you currently project externally. Strive for the alignment between the two, where your inner self and outer expressions are harmoniously connected. This process requires active and strategic effort, but the rewards are immense. You'll experience a sense of wholeness, authenticity, and genuine happiness.
Remember, you have the power to shape your own journey and create a life that resonates with your true self. Embrace the experience of happiness by living with integrity, aligned with who you are at your core. It's not about pursuing happiness; it's about embodying it through self-discovery and self-expression.
Ten Small Actions You Can Take Today to Pursue Integrity and Feel Happy
Are you ready to embark on a journey of happiness and self-discovery? We believe that living a life of integrity and finding joy in the journey is within your reach. Let's dive into the top ten small daily actions that can help you embrace this mindset and make a positive change in your life:
Start your day with gratitude: Each morning, take a moment to appreciate the blessings in your life. Write down three things you're grateful for, big or small. It sets a positive tone for the day ahead.
Embrace mindfulness: Be present in the moment and fully engage with your surroundings. Whether it's savoring your morning coffee or taking a mindful walk in nature, immerse yourself in the beauty around you.
Seek new experiences: Step out of your comfort zone and try something new every day. It could be as simple as reading a book from a different genre or exploring a new recipe. Embrace the excitement of discovery!
Connect with others: Nurture your relationships by reaching out to loved ones. Send a thoughtful message, have a meaningful conversation, or plan a get-together. Genuine connections fuel happiness.
Practice self-care: Prioritize your well-being by taking care of yourself. Engage in activities that recharge and uplift you, whether it's journaling, exercising, meditating, or indulging in a hobby you love.
Celebrate progress, big and small: Acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Celebrate the milestones along your journey and use them as stepping stones to keep moving forward.
Spread kindness: Extend kindness to others through random acts of goodness. It could be a smile, a compliment, or lending a helping hand. You'll create a positive ripple effect that brightens both your day and theirs.
Embrace the power of perspective: When faced with challenges, choose to see them as opportunities for growth. Shift your perspective and ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?" Embrace the lessons life presents.
Practice self-reflection: Take a few moments each day to reflect on your thoughts, actions, and emotions. Ask yourself, "Am I living authentically? Am I aligned with my values?" Use these insights to make intentional choices.
End your day with gratitude: Before you go to sleep, reflect on the day and express gratitude for the moments of joy, lessons learned, and the progress you've made. Let gratitude fill your heart.
Remember that change happens through consistent action. Embrace these small daily actions and let them weave into the fabric of your life. Together, let's build a community rooted in happiness, integrity, and personal growth. We're here to support you every step of the way.
Affirmations to Help You Pursue Integrity
Embrace the journey, find joy in each step
Shine authentically, radiate true happiness
Gratitude transforms, lessons become growth
Be present, savor moments, embrace life's beauty
Positive connections nurture, bring boundless joy
You deserve love, happiness, fulfillment. You're uniquely beautiful.
We intentionally write our affirmations in the second person.
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Has this blog inspired you to embrace a path to genuine self-discovery, and to define your authentic identity? If so, please share it with others who may benefit. Together, let’s be…
