Body Keeps Score

Kyetu Catalyst. A spark to ignite change!
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Do you have memories from your youth when a parent or adult figure told you to "suck it up"? Well, I certainly do. And I’m quite certain it's a phrase many of you are familiar with too. Growing up, it often felt like the default response to our emotional struggles. "Snap out of it, suck it up, stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." Does any of this sound familiar to you?

Well, that's what I’d like to discuss in today's Kyetu Catalyst.

What happens when you're told these types of things repeatedly growing up? What happens when you're repeatedly told to suppress your emotions? How do all those repressed feelings manifest themselves in the long run?

The answer lies in a concept explored by world renowned psychiatrist, and best selling author Bessel van der Kolk. In his groundbreaking book, "The Body Keeps the Score”, Van der Kolk's extensive research reveals that when we bury our emotions, our bodies become the silent record keepers of our emotional experiences.

Emotions, it turns out, are not meant to be shoved aside, but to be processed and understood.

Van der Kolk's work underscores a now proven fact: when we repress emotions, they don't simply disappear. Instead, they find their way into our bodies, often triggering a range of physical and emotional issues.

That pain in your lower back? The stiffness in your neck? It could be that you need a new pillow. Or maybe you worked out too hard yesterday. But, if the pain is chronic, it’s much more likely that as you've been conditioned to hide your emotions, they’ve remained trapped in your body.

So are we stuck with backlogs of stress, anxiety, and physical pain? Or is there something we can do about it? First, start by accepting that unprocessed emotions can lead to various psychological and physical challenges. Then, listen to your body. Do a simple body scan. Lie down on your back, and while breathing calmly, imagine your breath traveling from the top of your head, down the length of your body. Stop at each body part along the way, and ask yourself how each part feels. Where do you feel discomfort or pain? Has the pain been with you for days, months, or even years?

Once you’ve identified your physical pain points, take a moment with your journal, and write out for each pain location, when you first remember having pain there. What was happening in your life at that time? Were there any unprocessed emotions that could have been stored in your body?

In addition to honing in on the pain points, you can send positive energy to them, while practicing somatic release. For example, if you’ve identified that your hips are always tight and sore, you could try some gentle yoga poses, while directing your breath to the area of pain. Simultaneously, practice visualizing the pain area loosening up, and becoming open and clear.*

And moving forward, it is never ok to “just suck it up”. That doesn’t mean we don’t have to do things we don’t want, or that we don’t have to work hard. But if we are feeling a challenging emotion, it is not healthy, or functional, to repress it. Rather we need to learn to make space for what we’re feeling, in the moment, and release it appropriately. This can be done by voicing it, writing it down, or physically releasing it (like going for a vigorous walk).

Don’t let the act of repression become an echo through the years, affecting your well-being and relationships. Feel your emotions. Experience them; be with them. Then, like Elsa says, “Let it go!”.

Thank you for joining us for today’s episode of the Kyetu Catalyst. Please share our podcast with family, friends, and in your social networks. You just might be someone else’s spark to ignite change!

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* We are not medical professionals, just wellness enthusiasts. Please consult with a healthcare expert before trying these tips.