Fake It Till You Make It
Kyetu Catalyst. A spark to ignite change!
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“Oh honey, fake it till you make it!” That was the mantra of my late paternal grandma. She lived by it, and would cite it with a smile. But it always kind of irked me when I was little, because even as a child, I could see that despite her words, she was hurting underneath.
In admiration of her abilities to smile and stay pleasant regardless of the circumstances, I followed suit and adopted her “fake it till you make it” approach.
Until very recently.
Let’s discuss this in today’s episode of the Kyetu Catalyst. Is “fake it till you make it” a foolproof strategy, or does it come with its own set of complexities? Is it a wise approach to navigate the challenges of life, or does it risk veering us away from our authentic selves?
Maybe it’s the word “fake” that I’m tripping over. I know “fake” rhymes with “make”, which is why it is so catchy. And maybe if it were “do your best until you make it”, or “give it your best shot until you make it”, I’d feel differently about it. I mean, I understand the intent. We don’t have it all figured out and sometimes you have to just go with your gut and keep moving on. Even if you have no idea what you’re doing. And then add a healthy dose of imposter syndrome on top of it, and you might just feel like a bona fide fraud.
There's evidence suggesting that 'faking it' can have positive outcomes. Author and psychologist Richard Wiseman explores this in his book, '59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot.' He discusses the concept of 'acting as if' and how it can influence our thoughts and behaviors. Wiseman emphasizes the idea that sometimes, taking on the traits we want to embody can lead to actual change.
However, is there a tipping point where 'faking it' becomes detrimental? To navigate this question, we refer to Brené Brown's research on vulnerability and authenticity. In her book 'Daring Greatly,' Brown explores how embracing our vulnerability and being authentic are crucial components of wholehearted living. How does 'faking it' align with these principles, and when does it risk compromising our true selves?
At Kyetu, we believe in being authentic and honoring your true self. When you are envisioning an outcome for something you don’t currently have, you are dreaming and desiring, not faking. Dreaming and desiring are both wonderful things that reflect a path you want to develop and grow into. And struggling to get to your dreams and desires, or putting in the hard work is indeed part of the process.
But don’t fake it. Be with it. Accept it, and thank it. You're going to get to a new place, inevitably, because nothing is fixed and everything changes. So if you can acknowledge that whatever you are dealing with is difficult, there is no need to “fake it”.
Take every moment, every renewable instant as a fresh point in time. And at each point, just do your best. Be your best, in that moment. And then you are being genuine, authentic, vulnerable and real. And you will “make it”.
Can you take a moment with your journal now. Close your eyes, take a deep breath in, and an extended breath out. How does this concept feel to you? Do you tell yourself to “fake it” through situations? Can you instead, encourage yourself to bring your best, authentic self? This will change your energy into a thriving approach, as opposed to being in survival mode. Write yourself a different expression, one uniquely tailored to your own challenges, that you can say to yourself when you enter a struggle. Maybe it’s "Grow into your greatness" or perhaps "Believe it until you become it”.
Thanks for joining us on today's Kyetu Catalyst. Please share our podcast with family, friends, and in your social networks. You just might be someone else’s spark to ignite change!
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